I Told You... How to Install Laminate Flooring!

I told you I'd be writing about whatever I damn well pleased on my blog from now on, and here's the proof. This way, at least, with all of the various whatevers going on in my life, you'll know why I don't get more writing done than the little whiny voice in the back of my head tells me I should be. 

Alright, here we go...

STEP ONE

​Rip it all up. Get a circular saw, set its depth to just a tad deeper than the floor thickness. Then lift the blade guard and dip the blade into the floor. Cut out the border of the section you're removing, careful not to slip and cut into any of the good boards, because then you'll have to take them out too.

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STEP TWO

Now get out a couple of good chisels and a hammer and get ready to get bruised and banged up. Clean it really well, scrapping up all of the excess glue and cutting out all the edges.

​Then you can put the insulation down, which absorbs sound. If you want the floor to be solid, glue it down using a floor adhesive.
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STEP THREE

Carefully cut your floor planks to fit using a miter saw and slide the planks into place one at a time. Go slowly and make sure they're as tightly packed as possible. On the edges you'll probably have to cut the seams, but keep them where you can. Use wood glue along the edges of the planks and floor adhesive when you really need a plank to stick.

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So, in conclusion, installing laminate flooring is like writing. It, uh... It's hard work and... It, uh, takes a lot of time and trial and error... But seriously, writing actually is a lot like putting in new flooring: it involves tearing shit up that's not working, learning from mistakes, and then making new and better shit.

​Write on, my friends! Write on!